Monthly Archives: September 2017

Find Your Soulmate

  • Side Effects of Online Dating 

With online dating being on the rise, it has taken a lot of the mystery and excitement out of dating because it is too easy. We then make lists based on judgments on what we think we want to screen people. Much of what we could be looking for could also be on the defense to avoid the pain from the side effects of the online dating system. Because there are so many choices, we dismiss each other like numbers, which creates a great disconnect. Online dating can be useful for some who genuinely have a hard time meeting people but within moderation. Its overuse can become a distraction to finding one’s soulmate. So let’s refresh our memories on how to use our divine guidance to understand what our hearts really want, not what the ego wants.

  • The Purpose of a Relationship

The purpose of a relationship and that of a soulmate relationship is to teach us how to love more fully. To get there, we have lessons to learn, habits and beliefs that we need to let go of. Love is something that should automatically flow through us when we are feeling pure. Therefore what we need to focus on is letting go of blockages and remembering our pure state. This is very important to be clear with because our egos want to protect us from our blockages. The whole process is far easier when we are able to surrender to all of it. This is what divine guidance will take us through as we ultimately want to realign ourselves with emotional balance. The closer we are to reaching this, the closer we are to attracting our soulmate whom can show up at any time.

  • Understanding the Journey

A journey to finding our soulmate is a journey that starts from within. The emotions of finding the right person are very intense, therefore we need to have achieved the right emotional balance to be able to handle them. It is not all easy like a fairy tale, they will challenge us to learn the big lessons we have to learn and we have to be ready to handle that. That’s also a sign that we met the right person. They are there to show us the path to surrender our ego, as that’s how true love will come out. It’s all part of the divine plan. This is why the journey is all about preparing ourselves emotionally. The more we ignore this, the more painful experiences we may have to go through to realize this truth. However, with the right vision, the path will be very exciting, fulfilling and joyful!

  • Recognizing Divine Guidance

Divine guidance comes in the form of meaningful experiences, signs, mysterious coincidences and synchronicity all with the purpose of showing us what we need to learn. We will develop our intuition as we learn to read the messages.

Things Singles Can Relate to

For the single fellas, here is something to laugh about. The things that are too real for you.

Default hotel and restaurant offers are for couples

Why will you pay for an extra when you’re the only one having dinner or occupying the room or having dinner. Right here, you will realize that it’s just the default offer and that you can ask them to prepare something good for only one person. Yes, the realization comes in that people are expected to be with someone else. No pressure!

Being single is happy and sad

Happiness is a choice and you always choose to be it. But, there are days that you feel awful for not having someone to cuddle with in the heavy rain. You are fine being alone, because who needs someone else when you can do everything. But, there are moments when you feel like you have been left out and deprived of the happiness of loving and being loved. It’s sad, but you’re happy with the perks of just looking after yourself.

Single quotes everywhere

Opening Twitter and Instagram feels like an overflow of quotes describing your single life. You feel like everything posted on these sites are for you. Sometimes, you’re tempted to post a thing or two because it just hits close to home. But, you have welcomed the realities of singlblessedness that it does not matter what others say.

You get nervous about first dates

You are a ball of nervous energy that you bail out of dates. The last date you had was years ago and you forgot the protocols of the having a first date. So, you are more likely to refrain from dating (and dating sites for that matter) or even cancel date plans because you’re nervous. Better avoid puking your dinner or choking on those salads than go through the ordeal of dating. It is no wonder why you stay single.

Be bitter at some point

Most of the time, lovely couples does not bother you. They even make you wish to meet the perfect partner someday. Yet, there are times when you just want to see the world burn together with the sweet couple from your neighborhood. The statement “nothing lasts forever” has crossed your mind while seeing couples having fun.

Finding Love

Step 1: Get a pen and paper, whiteboard, or notebook on your device, and write down the 10 qualities that are most important to you in a partner. And remember, this is to help you move forward, so no cheating! For example, “attractive, tall, green eyes, black hair, athletic” does not count as one quality but 5. And “kind, generous, loyal” is 3 qualities, not 1. Take your time writing down the 10 qualities. These are the 10 qualities that you want more than any others, so again, no cheating. Keep it to 10.

Step 2: Now, scan this list of 10 qualities that you have written down. Think about how you feel about these qualities. Then be very strong and let go of 5 of them. Yes, I know this can be hard, but do it anyway. There is a reason for that. This leaves you with 5 qualities that are the most important of all to you in a partner.

Step 3: OK, now for the really interesting part. Cut the list down to 3 qualities and no more. Take your time, you can experiment with it, think how you feel, and look at the list until you have whittled it down to 3 qualities. These are the qualities that are important for you in a partner. This focuses your attention, and it is said that we can usually only find a partner that satisfies 3 qualities that are important to us. For example, if it is “Honest, Loyal, and Black-haired”, then you know not to waste time on dishonest people (do they cheat on their tax, or tell lies in social groups in order to make themselves seem more interesting?), disloyal people (are they disloyal to their employer or cheated on their partner, for example?), or people with blond hair (because that would not keep your interest looks-wise long-term). Of course, these are just 3 qualities I plucked out of thin air with no prejudice to blond, red, brown, black, or bald-haired amazing partners but you get the idea.

Single and Waiting

Here are a few things to consider while waiting for your future hubby to arrive:

  1. Stop blaming him for not being able to fulfill your need to get married just because you feel you are ready! Everything happens for a reason and maybe the reason that you are waiting is because you are not as ready as you think.
  2. Dig deep. Take a look at yourself and ask if there is anything that you can work on to make yourself the very best you there is to offer. Are there any childhood troubles that haunt you or hold you back? Are there secrets that you have never discussed that have negatively shaped you into who you are today? Did you pick up a couple of undesirable traits from your parents that you wish you hadn’t? What about past relationships that you still hold resentment or shame about? Now is the time to reflect and face any demons or excess baggage that you carry. Try counseling or therapy and prayer to help you talk about it. This will not be easy, but God is watching, and sometimes He won’t allow you to move forward because He needs you to drop some things from your past. These things can get in the way of the role He needs you to play paired with your husband and your purpose. Your marital stagnation may not be Boaz’s fault at all. Your future hubby is going to need a helpmate not a patient.
  3. Have you ever really listened to the lyrics of the song “Bag Lady” by Erykah Badu? STOP RIGHT NOW and YouTube it. It’s quite deep and the message is clear. The bag lady portrayed in the song isn’t carrying physical baggage but the emotional kind. She states “Bag lady you gon’ miss your bus, you can’t hurry up, cuz you got too much stuff”, “one day, he gon’ say you crowding my space”. The lyrics elude to the fact that carrying too much baggage will delay life progress, slow you down from establishing successful relationships. It can get in the way of a current relationship, creating doubt by your mate that there is enough room for him along with your emotional baggage. Spend this time of waiting, reflecting and challenging yourself to learn more about you and face the tough stuff BEFORE you bind your man into marriage.
  4. It doesn’t have to be that deep. If in review of yourself your findings say that you are not emotionally challenged but yet Boaz is still not here, then use the time to check off a few bucket list items. Take yourself out of your comfort zone and amaze yourself about what you thought you could never do. Experience something new, discover new things.